Some of you may have seen this article circulating on Facebook: 10 ways to show love to someone with depression. I opened the link, looking for some good ideas to help me be more compassionate. I’ve never struggled with depression out of the ordinary way, but I know others who have. What surprised me is how many of the suggestions on the list echoed my own needs as a mom.
Don’t get me wrong, motherhood isn’t depression. Rather, I was surprised to discover that many items on the list have recently become hard for me, as a new mom. So I thought to myself, “If I feel this way, I’m sure other moms out there can relate.
1. Keep the clutter at bay:
![Kyle and William "helping" with the laundry :]](http://blog.ashleybarney.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/20140511-095314.jpg)
Before my baby was born this wasn’t such a big deal. I took most of the responsibility for keeping our house clean and if things got messy for a few days I escaped to my office, regained my sanity, and found time to organize when I could. Now I’m working at home and taking care of my son. I can’t always get things done when he’s awake and I usually need to work when he’s asleep. If things get messy, I get depressed. I am swallowed up in it and distracted by it until it is taken care of. There have been occasions when my house finally gets cleaned and I literally feel a weight lifted off of my shoulders.
Mother’s Day Idea: Pitch in and clean some things you don’t normally clean. There is ALWAYS something that can be made brighter.
2. Fix a healthy meal:
My baby is at his worst in the early evening. Since I am typically the cook of our family, this makes dinner difficult. My husband comes home from work hungry, but the baby needs to be bounced, and I can’t hold him and slice vegetables at the same time. I often succumb to the temptation of cooking whatever is fastest and easiest, which usually isn’t the healthiest… On top of this, I’m home all day. If I get hungry I eat, and once again, it’s the fastest and easiest foods that usually make the cut.
Mother’s Day Idea: Make Mom some healthy freezer meals. The most unromantic gift on earth that might just make her swoon.
3. Get out!
As a stay-at-home mom with a work-from-home job I spend A LOT of time at home. I can’t tell you what a simple run to the grocery store means some days.
Mother’s Day Idea: Give Mom a day off. Tell her that she can pick whatever she’d like to do and you’ll make arrangements for things to be cared for while she’s gone. Or, the less intense version: next time your at a social event, you take care of the kids so that she can have a little adult interaction.
4. Encourage personal hygiene.
We’ve all laughed at those crazy ladies in their mom jeans. I know before the birth of my son I would hear women say, “I just can’t seem to find time to do my hair anymore,” and roll my eyes inwardly a little bit. Then I had a baby and stopped doing my hair. Seriously, my baby is 10 months old and I just got my first hair cut since his birth yesterday morning. The fact is, this problem with mom’s failing to take care of themselves is no laughing matter. There is a difference between feeling loved and feeling lovable, and both are important. When a woman feels ugly all the time, she can mistake others love for her as a sign of their unattainable perfection instead of a strength both of them enjoy and rely on.
Mother’s Day gift idea: Give the special lady in your life something nice for her to use in her daily hygiene routine. A Mary Kay gift certificate, some high quality shampoo, a day at the spa, a manicure or pedicure, or even just a little protected time to get ready for the day, all give her something in her appearance to smile about.
5. Help her make something pretty
Motherhood has some fantastic rewards, however, most of those rewards are very long-term. A mom who’s energy is completely focused on her family can go a long time without feeling the joy of accomplishment, or the pride of a job well done. Encouraging craft time, scrap booking, blogging, photography, or some other creative hobby can help round her out.
Mother’s Day idea: buy something that supports her hobbies. All moms have them.
So, there you go. A couple easy ways to give the Mom in your life a little of the support she needs. Happy Mother’s day, and good luck on all your gift-giving ventures!